They say the best way to come to terms with your issues, is to first admit them ..soo here we go .
Hi, my name is Ren, & I'm a Masochist .
Masochist, a lot of people have NO idea what this word means ..so I'll define it for you .
Derived from the term:
1.
Psychiatry . the condition in which sexual gratification depends on suffering, physical pain, and humiliation.
2.
gratification gained from pain, deprivation, degradation, etc., inflicted or imposed on oneself, either as a result of one's own actions or the actions of others, esp. the tendency to seek this form of gratification.
3.
the act of turning one's destructive tendencies inward or upon oneself.
4.
the tendency to find pleasure in self-denial, submissiveness, etc.
So I'm guessing you're like "Omg, Noo French you can't be serious ! " ..Yea ..I'm very serious .
No one knows ..until now lol . Even though I'm single, this is STILL the case in relationships . That's why I'm sooo combative with men I guess ..I pick fights SOOO easily ..intentionally ..i just ..ugh love arguing & fighting . It makes me feel so good .
Idk why ..& I guess it's pretty demented that it's that way, but people are how they are .
I'm doing my best to change that, It's hard though ..this is prob more the reason why I'm single . I don't want anyone else like that again, I've had my heart broken once ..& I don't want those old habits to rub off on anyone that I care about I guess .
I still love that guy, despite the heartbreak & abusive words ..I didn't end it w| him because of that ..I did because he cheated . It wasn't our relationship without all the heated arguments and desputes ..& we'd make up to break up 3298428429x a week, for 11 months straight ..
So if you know anyone in this kinda situation, it's harder to get out of than just "Break it off!" ..atleast for people like me ..
I just let my jealousy/pride break us up ..thank God for that ..anyways ..this is getting hard to write/think about ..so I'm gunna end it now .
xoxoFrenchy
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